Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Getting Over Commitment Phobia?

What is it about us guys and our commitment phobia? Ever since they were little girls, women look forward to their special day, their dream Hawaii wedding (or wherever), but most guys dread being tied down when they tie the knot. How can the average male feel more comfortable about taking the plunge?

Firstly, you need to understand the basic nature of men and women. Women grow by filling themselves up with love. They are symbolized by an empty vessel, like a cup, which aims to fill itself to the brim with Life, love and the abundance of the world. Women find meaning by going deeper into loving and caring, and being in a sexual relationship with a man (and possibly also having kids) is often the primary way they develop their love. From a spiritual perspective, you could say that women get to know God through love.

Men, on the other hand, are a different breed altogether. They thrive on cutting through constraints, limits and barriers, crashing through to freedom on the other side. Men find meaning in conquering their fears, rising to the challenge and bringing out the best in themselves, proving to the whole world their strength, endurance and trustworthiness. Hence a man’s primary purpose on earth is not his relationship; he may love his woman (and kids) dearly, but he still has his mission, the fulfilling of which drives him to be the best he can and always somehow leads to liberty in the end. From a spiritual perspective, you could say that men get to know God through freedom.

There are only two fundamental emotions, love and fear, which are complete opposites. Since the achievement of freedom is the total banishing and conquering of fear, and since when fear is completely gone only love can remain, you can say that love and freedom are ultimately the same thing, or two sides of the same coin. Thus from a spiritual perspective women and men realize God by traversing different paths, but they ultimately arrive at the same mountain peak.

So there is an asymmetry to love: women consider their relationship with their man as part (or all) of their purpose for being here, while men consider their mission as their purpose for being here. Rather than resisting this truth and trying to change it, women and men would do better to accept their polarities and realize that this is what creates the wonderful sexual energy between them.

With this in mind men can get over their commitment phobia by first accepting it as a natural aversion to constraint. Secondly they can understand that it is completely possible to love a woman dearly and still have a mission which drives them to be who they are. Men must take responsibility for knowing themselves and knowing their mission, and staying dedicated to it while being in a relationship. After all, this steadfastness and strength of character is what a woman really wants in a man. No woman can deeply respect and trust a man who would frivolously drop his mission. If he acts like that with his mission, why wouldn’t he also act like that with her?

Men need to find freedom within apparent constraint, and by their calmness, steadiness and strength, show that all limitation is an illusion. What better way to do this than by being with one woman?

Once a man has conquered his fear of being with one woman permanently, he must reassure her that he loves her deeply and is committed to working through the tough times with her. This builds tremendous trust and allows the man sufficient space to fulfill his mission while being in a relationship.

For more information visit: www.AlohaEverAfter.com

Friday, April 10, 2009

How to Propose to your Girlfriend?

Okay, so you’ve gotten over your massive case of commitment phobia and have decided to take the plunge. Your stomach is knotted by a deep sense of nervousness and your palms are sweaty from the mere thought of getting down on one knee. Upon your shoulders is the burden of the crushing expectations of your girlfriend and the entire female race. You know deep down that a boring, business-like proposal isn’t going cut the mustard and may leave your love eternally disappointed, distrustful and even turned off. You’d rather watch sports, eat potato chips and not put any time into it, but you know you’ve got to get up off your backside and come up with a truly original and romantic proposal. The question is, how?

First of all, take a deep breath and calm down. Look around you – if all these bozos who are married went through it and came out the other end alive, so can you. In fact, you can even do a better job. How? By knowing the secret about women.

We all know that women want to be serenaded, to be whisked off by their white knight in shining armor. Women are attracted to masculine strength, but here’s the trick: they want direction. They yearn for a man with decisiveness. Women want to relax and feel free to play their role as the wild windy dancing goddess. That way they embrace the essence of feminine energetic pole, and become incredibly attractive to males. But you need to step into the full masculine energetic pole to allow them to be goddesses. They can’t be truly feminine if they can’t trust that you’ll take charge. Then they have to become more masculine themselves and take the lead, which results in a depolarization of the energy between you two. This means the sex won’t be as charged and passionate, and let’s face it, that’s a bottom line for most guys.

So, take some responsibility for this and step up to the plate. If you want a passionate relationship with hot sex, make it happen. Tell your woman, “You’ve got 30 minutes to pack your bags and get ready. Then I’m taking you on a date/vacation to a beautiful secret location. Everything’s taken care of.” The thrill of the secret, of romance, and of a strong decisive man is irresistible to most women. Her heart will be beating in rapid excitement.

Next, ensure you’ve matched the place to her character. Does she like outdoors? If so, is she more of a beach, forest, mountain or jungle girl? What’s her best time of day? Most women love sunset proposals, but a warm snuggle after sleeping in also works. What are her favorite places? Theatres, restaurants, clubs, bars? Choose a place where you met, or dated frequently, that has significance. If it’s a restaurant, choose a place serving her favorite cuisine. Surprise her – have her favorite dessert or type of cake preordered, embossed with the writing, “Will You Marry Me?” Get that question in somewhere, whether it’s a big banner hung somewhere, or if it’s etched into a rock or tree, or if it’s a treasure hunt with each word hidden in a different place.

Lastly, don’t wear yourself out by trying to get the perfect ring. Get a placeholder instead – for $100 or $200 – and then she can choose or even design her own perfect ring. Tell her in your own special way how much you love her as you pop the question – and getting down on one knee always helps add chivalry and romance to the moment.

Remember, it’s a lot of effort planning it, but it’s worth it. You only have to go through it once, and your fiancĂ©e will be eternally grateful for the effort you put in. Finally, remember that while you put in all the effort for the proposal, she’ll take care of the wedding, so it all balances out in the end.

For more information visit: www.AlohaEverAfter.com

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Why Get Married On Kauai?

Kauai is the most beautiful of all of the Hawaiian Islands. As a world traveler who has traveled to 45 countries I consider Kauai to be the most beautiful place on earth. I could have chosen to get married and live anywhere in the world, but after seeing much of the world and traveling extensively, I chose to come back to Kauai and make her my home, again. Why?

Kauai is the hidden jewel of the Hawaiian Island chain. It’s called the garden island because of its vast lush tropical diversity. Kauai is the getaway from the chaotic main island of Oahu, where people from the Hawaiian city of Honolulu and beyond go to get away from the rat race. Kauai is a perfect blend of things to do in an exotic and gorgeous place, yet getting away from the things that distract us from who we really are and who we really want to be. Kauai is the perfect choice for a destination wedding because you have a never ending choice of exotic places to choose from for the perfect wedding site. Beautiful long beaches, hidden jungle locations, private pieces of land overlooking the ocean, waterfalls, canyons adorned with rainbows, mountains, forest, jungle, cliffs, valleys, sand dunes…the choices go on and on.

Kauai is the perfect place to get amazing wedding or honeymoon pictures taken. How could you go wrong with one of the most beautiful settings in the world around you? All you need to do is decide what kind of scenery and backdrop you want behind your amazing wedding photography.

Most importantly Kauai is magical. It really is. Kauai has an uncanny way of manifesting that which you want and focus on faster than almost anywhere else on the planet. You will be amazed at how many times on your trip you are blown away by the synchronicity of how you were just talking about something…and just an hour or two later you find it (or a book about it, etc.) at some shop down the road. Weddings/honeymoons happen anywhere everyday, but on Kauai dreams really do come true. Sounds corny? Come check it out and see for yourself!

For more information visit: www.AlohaEverAfter.com

Thursday, April 2, 2009

What it was like to get married on a Kauai beach

Getting married on a beach in Hawaii was a dream come true for me. Since the moment my fiancé and I discussed getting married I knew it would be on the island of Kauai. Then the real work began: at which beach would we get married and who would we use as a wedding photographer?

I scoured the internet for wedding sites on Kauai and became fascinated with the Hanalei Colony Resort. Its remote location is perfect for the intimate wedding we wanted and the lush landscaping provides the tropical touch that was so important to me in my decision to marry in Hawaii.

We wanted these elements to be showcased in the wedding photography. And Timory was able to pull it all together. Of course it’s impossible to depend on the weather to cooperate on Kauai’s north shore, but Timory worked with us and our small wedding party through wind and rain to capture our event forever in the best possible way. She focused on the other elements that made the day so special for us, such as family, location, incorporating the lush grounds, and the wedding party’s attire.

She exceeded our expectations with her determination and dedication to provide us professional pictures capturing that special moment in time, from the formal photos of my husband and I in the grassy garden area to the ensemble on the beach during the ceremony. I am thrilled with the outcome of our wedding and anticipate the day we return for additional fond memories.

Heidi Hastings

For more information visit: www.AlohaEvereAfter.com

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

How do I choose which island to get married on?

From far away, it can be confusing knowing which of 4 beautiful and exotic islands to choose from for your beach wedding in Hawaii. Here is a brief breakdown of the 4 main Hawaiian islands based on my 10+ years living and traveling on these islands:

Oahu-This is where Waikiki and Honolulu are located. It is NOT the Big island, which is a common misconception. This island is where most of the people in the state of Hawaii live, and thus it is very much like a big city you would find on the United States mainland dropped onto an island setting, at least until you leave the Honolulu/Waikiki area. If you are looking for nightlife traffic and tourists, this is a good place to go. If you are looking for a quintessential trip to tropical Hawaii, this is not the best choice.

Maui-This is the next most populated and busiest island. It is not really like a major city, but it does have a lot of people, city grid-like streets, and reminds many of southern California put on an island. However, it is possible to get away on Maui if you head to the west side (which is dry) or around the other side of the island towards Hana (where unfortunately there are few to no places for tourist accommodation). Maui is full of social butterflies and its great nightlife is not consolidated into one place like on Oahu.

Kauai-This is the beautiful garden island and it is filled with tropical flowers, botanical gardens and lush beauty. Kauai does not have grid-like streets and is considered the ‘country’ get away from the ‘city’ of Oahu. It is the least populated of the Hawaiian islands. Kauai has a valley called Kalalau valley which many guide books and people consider to be the most beautiful place on the islands (I think it’s actually the most beautiful place on Earth!), so you will often find Kalalau on the cover of a book on Hawaii. (It’s like the cover girl of Hawaii, your quintessential gorgeous vista.)

Kauai does not have the nightlife options that the previous 2 islands have, but there are options of some bars and places to dance. There are many options of things to do during the day/night ranging from all of the normal tourist attractions (snorkeling, helicopter rides, luaus, boat rides etc.) to things found specially on Kauai such as kayaking, horseback riding, tube rides, taro patch tours, ziplining and much more.

It has great natural diversity, including a large colorful canyon, steep cliffs, jungle, and desert. Many people consider it to be the best of both worlds because you can have your tropical island getaway and romantic Hawaii wedding on a beach without 100 unwanted guests, yet you still have options of many things to do.

The Big Island/Hawaii- The Big Island, or the Big I, is the largest of the main islands and is very large with very few residents. There is not much nightlife, but you certainly can get far away from everything. The Big Island of Hawaii also has an active volcano you can hike out to and actually see the hot lava enter the ocean. Other than that, you will not have so many things to ‘do’ (there are of course all the normal tourist activities), but it does have immense natural diversity. (Out of the world’s 33 climatic zones, the Big I has 26 of them.)

So, there is my personal overview of the 4 main islands (there are 7 in the state of Hawaii but almost all visitors go to these islands only). Having a Hawaii beach wedding is a wonderful experience. Having a Kauai beach wedding is even more special in my opinion because of the special nature of this garden island. Kauai has so many secluded spots and gorgeous backgrounds that the pictures always turn out better. There are beaches where you can stand facing one way and have a mountain scene behind you, face another way and have mountains and a beach and a pier, and face yet another way and have cliffs and a river next to a beach behind you! You can imagine how stunning the wedding photography is when you have that much variety in one spot.

Of course, no matter which island you choose, having a wedding coordinator or wedding planner will make your special Hawaii beach wedding day run so much more smoothly. It’s so comforting and relaxing to know that someone else is running around doing your worrying for you! Luckily for all the brides and grooms-to-be, there are many attentive and experienced wedding coordinators in Hawaii.

For more information visit: www.alohaeverafter.com

Thursday, March 26, 2009

What you need to know about Kauai beach weddings, and Hawaii beach weddings in general

1 At this point in time you must have a beach permit from the state of Hawaii (DLNR). At current moment (2009) the judge is still making a decision as to the legality of the legislated permit requirement for all Kauai weddings (actually all Hawaii weddings on all islands) taking place on public property. Nonetheless, until this is settled in court it is still required and without this permit the state still has the power to shut down any beach wedding on Kauai that did not pay for and obtain a permit (with proof of insurance) before the wedding.
Aloha Ever After will obtain this permit for you. You do NOT have to do anything extra besides pay the $30 fee that we are required to pay. Aloha Ever After does not make money on this; in fact it costs extra time to do it for you. Aloha Ever After does not charge you for this service or the time it takes to do it, since we want your romantic Kauai wedding to go smoothly and easily and will make sure it is completely legal and safe.

2 All Kauai/Hawaii beaches are public beaches and therefore anyone can use any beach at anytime. This is good news for you, but this also means that there is no way of guaranteeing a private Kauai/Hawaii beach wedding. Having lived here since 1999 Timory can however offer expert advice as to which beaches are usually deserted and what times are the best times to have your Kauai beach wedding. There is at least one beach that Timory use where there have never been other people near us on the beach nor many people even walking past. Timory is happy to share this beautiful Kauai beach site with you. There are other beaches where lots of people take walks (with and without dogs) and use the beach for swimming, surfing, cliff diving and sun bathing. This does not need to be an inconvenience - it can really offer an authentic Kauai beach wedding flavor, and after all, that’s what people do on an exotic tropical island!

3 It’s always windy. Brides, if you don’t want your hair to blow everywhere during the photography shoot and ceremony, get it put up/back and out of the way! It will look better back than being windblown.

4 High heel shoes are awkward in the sand - don’t bother with them if they aren’t totally necessary.

5 The hair/makeup always takes longer than expected. Plan 30-45 minutes minimum extra into whatever the person says she/he needs!

6 Your photographer does not know the names and relations of everyone in your family. Plan out what family shots you want ahead of time. Give a list of who you want in what group pictures to a trusted family member/friend and instruct that person to stand next to the photographer during the after ceremony pictures. Have this person call out the names of the next group at least one picture before the photographer needs them. This way you will get all the shots you want plus extra pictures. It takes a lot of time to get people together and organized. If the photographer is not required to play group leader she/he will have more time to take more quality photos.

7 Having a Kauai beach wedding will be one of the most memorable events of your life. Having captured moments to treasure and share forever by utilizing our professional Kauai photography community is one of the most crucial steps in planning your big day, so don’t forget to set up your photographer early to assure getting the date you want!

For more information visit: www.alohaeverafter.com

Monday, March 23, 2009

Why get married on Kauai?

Kauai is the most beautiful of all of the Hawaiian Islands. As a world traveler who has traveled to 45 countries I consider Kauai to be the most beautiful place on earth. I could have chosen to get married and live anywhere in the world, but after seeing much of the world and traveling extensively, I chose to come back to Kauai and make her my home, again. Why?


Kauai is the hidden jewel of the Hawaiian Island chain. Its called the garden island because of its vast lush tropical diversity. Kauai is the getaway from the chaotic main island of Oahu, where people from the Hawaiian city of Honolulu and beyond go to get away from the rat race. Kauai is a perfect blend of things to do in an exotic and gorgeous place, yet getting away from the things that distract us from who we really are and who we really want to be. Kauai is the perfect choice for a destination wedding because you have a neverending choice of exotic places to choose from for the perfect wedding site. Beautiful long beaches, hidden jungle locations, private pieces of land overlooking the ocean, waterfalls, canyons adorned with rainbows, mountains, forest, jungle, cliffs, valleys, sand dunesthe choices go on and on.


Kauai is the perfect place to get amazing wedding or honeymoon pictures taken. How could you go wrong with one of the most beautiful settings in the world around you? All you need to do is decide what kind of scenery and backdrop you want behind your amazing wedding photography.


Most importantly Kauai is magical. It really is. Kauai has an uncanny way of manifesting that which you want and focus on faster than almost anywhere else on the planet. You will be amazed at how many times on your trip you are blown away by the synchronicity of how you were just talking about somethingand just an hour or two later you find it (or a book about it, etc.) at some shop down the road. Weddings/honeymoons happen anywhere everyday, but on Kauai dreams really do come true. Sounds corny? Come check it out and see for yourself!


For more information visit:www.alohaeverafter.com